January Sucks / Un-Birthday Party
By then we should all be fat and broke from Christmas and the weather will still be cold and dark AF. So fun!
I looked at the national day calendar to see if there was something we could celebrate but it turns out that January is actually the WORST MONTH EVER. The only things that have ever happened in January are cold snaps, computer viruses, soccer riots and government coups. Also someone won the lottery once, but it wasn't me so who even cares?
To prove that January is garbage I was born in it. Being born in the winter is a bitch because it means the seasonal depression is permanent. I was also born on a Wednesday, which means all my birthdays fall on a Monday for some reason. So we will celebrate this horrible month on Sunday, January 13 – the eve of my wretched birthday. By then we should all be fat and broke from Christmas and the weather will still be cold and dark AF. So fun!
As an un-birthday gift to you all, I have purchased 400 new CAH cards for us to play with. Bring a snack or food to share. If you want to buy me a present I like pineapples and feeling sad in the winter. No gifts are necessary since this is an un-birthday party and it's probably your un-birthday, too.