End Times Halloween Party

It's time to abuse the children by making them wear masks! What are you guys giving out for Halloween? I'm going with the Communist Manifesto.

We obviously do not need to do scary things because we're already living in the end times and every dude in this group is creepy AF. But just because everything is awful doesn't mean we should change our behavior. It is our tradition to to say goodbye to Dick Hunting season and welcome Raping Season by worshipping the dark lord.

It wouldn't be Halloween unless I was talking about being raped to sleep by dickwolves. The Dickwolves are RAVENOUS to rape I don't think any of us have slept in a year.*

COSTUMES

So this is a Halloween party. You should dress like you, but SEXY. And bring only your finest cocaine for the dickwolves. They're endangered so we can't give them meth like last time.

EATS

Bring food to share. Here are some suggestions: Dick shaped food, food made by the sex trafficked children you keep in the basement, food that makes me uncomfortable, Dickwolf treats, anything you can manifest with witchcraft or enough money for a hand job. ($1,200)

ALCOHOL

Yes, bring some. Should we do dry ice again? No one even got injured last time, it was pretty disappointing.

ENTERTAINMENT

We usually don't play CAH at Halloween but I have more new cards than I can fit in the box and talking about stuff in the end times is pretty boring, tbh. Like there's only so many times you can say "I've literally done nothing but work since I attended the last party." We'll need something to entertain us between rapings.

PLUS 1 POLICY

If you have other friends go ahead and bring them. We don't have a meetup group to recruit people anymore so shit is getting pretty desperate in the friend department. We will definitely terrorize that person, though.

Okay, this is long enough. We all know what happens at these Halloween parties. End Times Halloween is just like regular Halloween except we're all closer to enjoying the sweet release of death. I will now open the floor for shitty comments and personal insults.

*There will only be a tiny bit of rape at this party. You’ll barely even notice.