Cards Against Trump Inauguration Party

Okay, maybe ”Because it would be hilarious" is not the best reason to elect someone President. It's still pretty funny, though. Oh, what a time to be alive... 8 year olds across the Nation can hardly believe that we are going to have a white President, just like in all the history books. Heartwarming. I'm still only in the 4th stage of post-election grief (super apathy) but it's time to inaugurate this motherfucker already!

There is one thing that hasn't changed since the election and that is that we are all still horrible people. The absolute worst. Like so bad we could all have very lucrative political careers. But anyway, it looks like this is actually going to happen because no one has come from the future to stop it. So let's celebrate the inauguration of our new President and wish him the best. And the way we do that is play (group) Cards Against Trump and drink A LOT. I sure hope I get a new liver for my birthday.

If you are pleased with these election results then you should totally come celebrate the inauguration with us (presuming the world does not actually end that day.) Fuck it, maybe even bring your gun just in case the world does try to end?

If you are not happy about the results, don't worry! Other than the economy, climate and civil rights we're going to be fine. Plus, we get to drink every day for the next 4 years and say "Thanks, Donald!" every time something slightly inconveniences us. So reach across the isle and touch someone… WITH YOUR DICK! Don’t be so closed minded, you might like it.

This is exciting... America is going to be great again! Finally, there will be a chicken in every pot, a burning cross on every lawn and an abortion in every back alley! (Wait, that was the campaign motto right? I'll have to check twitter.) Anyway, this inauguration party is going to be super fun and dope AF. Disclaimer: I haven't had the chance to ask a man if my opinion is right or wrong yet, so it might not be super fun.

And yes, thank you everyone for informing me that the inauguration actually occurs during the day. Except some people have jobs. I mean, I don't know why I have to have a job since I didn't vote for Trump, can someone please look into that? The point is, if you do not have a job and would like to arrive at noon then I'll see you when I get there at 6. If you wear your Russian flag shirt I promise to laugh REALLY HARD. Everyone else wear your America shit.