A Presidential Affair
Trump will not be there. He continues to ignore my tweets.
*without the president
Everyone knows Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more Presidents. Just kidding, it's a day intended to celebrate two of the greatest presidents of the United States: George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. No doubt Donald Trump will be replacing one of those losers soon. Also, Ronald Reagan didn’t even make this “exceptional president” list so it’s probably fake news anyway. No one plays Abraham Lincoln beer pong.
What can I say about Trump that he hasn’t already said about himself? It was either celebrate this or National Cabbage Day. Achieving the presidency of the United States is still a somewhat bigger accomplishment than being a cabbage. I guess. So if you love this president you’re in luck, it’s another horrible Trump (CAH) party! If you don’t love this President you should still come. I mean, it’s kind of our patriotic duty as Americans to come together and make dick jokes about the president no matter what party he’s from. It’s called bi-partisanship and it's a thing. You can always just pretend we’re honoring Vladimir Putin if that makes you feel better… and dick jokes make EVERYONE feel better.
So, we will be celebrating by playing CAH at Tedi’s house. Tedi has murdered her family to accommodate our event. She lives in Centennial so don’t RSVP if you’re not willing to drive there. Also, if her murdered family is going to make you uncomfortable then we can't be friends. We don't judge lifestyle choices in this group we judge people based on how funny they are.
What to bring: Oh yes, I almost forgot. Everyone bring a pot luck item to share. YOU CAN’T ALL BRING CHEETOS EITHER! I’ll bring the Trump/Hilary cards. They’re mixed up with all the other cards, but they’ll be there. I will send Tedi’s address to everyone a day or two before the event. (She prefers to be murdered by internet people on the day of the event and not just randomly by surprise.)
Important to know: Disclaimer: Trump will not be there. He continues to ignore my tweets so I've dis-invited him.